The Scratch : 'Whatever Happened to Friday Night'
Released: Out Now!!!
Label: Ponyland Records
It is said the imitation is the sincerest for of flattery. I know this first-hand to be utter bollocks. My hair and face do an uncanny imitation of Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings, or if I am wearing glasses, Hugh Fearnley Whittingstal. In no way do I seek to flatter these individuals. Nor do I find it particularly flattering when I am attempting to chat someone up for one of my friends to come up and say "Hey, who do you think he looks like?" because as I hear the cold stinging laughter of recognition I know they will forever see me as either a homo-erotic Dorset pygmy or a plummy chicken-botherer. It wouldn't be any better if I looked like a good looking celebrity either, because I would know that what they really, really want is the real thing rather than a cheap (and easy) imitation. Unfortunately this is exactly how I felt listening to The Scratch's latest album "Whatever Happened to Friday Night."
I actually had to check I was listening to the right album when I first heard it. I honestly thought I was listening to a Buzzcocks or Undertones song I hadn't heard before. The very first track "You Want The World" contains a guitar riff straight from "Teenage Kicks". The next track, "Independent and Unrepentant" actually features the phrase teenage kicks in the lyrics, but sounds like an early Blur song. This is followed by "Freakshow" which contains a bastardised version of the riff from "Come as You Are" with a chorus which is a muted version of "Jumpin Jack Flash". "Freakshow" is an apt description of this album because the whole thing is a hulking great Frankenstein's monster, made up of parts plundered from different bands and put together with all the finesse of a speed-addicted cage fighter doing a jigsaw puzzle.
The thing is I can see what the band want to do and their intentions are good, but horribly, horribly misguided. The Scratch obviously wanted the whole album to sound like something their idols from the Golden Age of Punk might have made. They would probably make a great punk tribute band, probably called something like "Never Mind the Undertones Clash with Buzzcocks" Yes I realise that's a long and awkward punk-based pun. Unfortunately The Scratch don't realise that's essentially what their album is; very slightly altering the original in a way that makes you cringe.
I wish they'd stopped there but they decided to add another layer of fuck-up to the album. As mentioned before you can hear the presence of Blur there. In fact you can hear it in nearly every single song's vocal line. The shape of the vocal melodies and their harmonies sound like Blur. The lyrics of many of their songs like to make some sort social comment, like Blur. That is if Blur's lyrics were written by Jan Moir.
"All the teetering fags / Dropping their shopping bags... Eighty or eight / They all reach the same state / Queing at the bus stop / And looking overweight / ... How can I kick out the jams / With all these billions of prams"
Did I mention that this song is called "Freaks of the Daylight"? I don't think I've ever heard a band pen a more sneering and snobbish song. Maybe I hear it wrong and it's like, really all ironic and stuff? Like, some third person narrative perspective? Either way it's an odious cockfart of a song from a band that are either complete twats or whose understanding of irony is as an adjective describing something made of metal.
I really tried to like "Whatever Happened to Friday Night". I really did. The first listen reminded me of songs I loved, but that just made me want to listen to the original, rather than something that sounded like a version played by an ice-cream van. Then, after a few more listens, it drove me to near insanity as I heard more and more elements I recognised that had been "lovingly borrowed" from other songs or bands and tried to work out where they came from and if their was any method to this mad patchwork creation. Then after I final few listens I got fed up of hearing some of my favourite bands being pillaged to create a truly lazy and uninspired record, so I wrote this rather angry but essentially cathartic rant. If you have heard the album I'd like to know what beloved songs you can hear being shat or whether you disagree or agree with my review. After all what do I know, I'm Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall.
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Posts: 1
Reply #1 on : Sun July 31, 2011, 21:12:53