Londinuim Bass @ Ewer Street Car Park London

When: 1st May 2010

Six promoters, one bank Holiday and one car park filled with rowdy basslines?  It has to be Londinium Bass.  The most monstrous line up since the Lochness Monster teamed up with the Incredible Hulk and King Kong.  Actually maybe that didn't ever happen.  Nonetheless we were in the mystical realms of the arches circa London Bridge where each room was jointly hosted by two devilish London bass brands.

Upon arrival we were greeted by the sub-aqueous two step sounds of Untold in the Deadly Rhythm Vs Hyp!Hyp!Hyp! arena.   There was an essence of the late eighties rave scene: lasers, giant sound systems, portaloos and pills.  Paying testament to the recent UK garage resurgence, the Dirty Canvas Vs Vagabondz teams had Heartless Crew showing the youthful crowd what it was all about.  Fonti, Bushkin and Mighty Mo entertained with a rave fuelled Prodigy anthology including 'Outta Space' and 'Charly.'  Their 60 minutes was dosed with garage classics from yesteryear, namely  DJ Zinc’s ‘138 trek’ and Agent X‘s ‘Decoy’ blessed with their signature lyrics, reminiscent of 2000.  Poetry like ‘What hot like cooking pot, how much time have we got.  Lots and lots and lots’ encouraging the boys to ‘Bubble the girls like Apple Tango.’  

To vary up proceedings within the London bass scene Chew the Fat resident, A1 Bassline, held it down for the Urban Nerds Vs Chew the Fat clan. He controlled the crowd excellently, like a master puppeteer.  He ripped though an array of trippy bass, tribal beats and melodious hooks with his professional mixing style.  The rave hungry crowd were flailing fingers in the air when he threw down his energetic, captivating, new release ‘Breathless.’

All this musical mayhem was not enough to put one fresh faced raver off his hot dog.  Appreciatively he wolfed down a reconstituted bratwurst, like a builder eating his three daily meals in one mouthful.  At the back with mustard on his face.

Unperturbed by this Dijon disaster Oneman rinsed out his usual smattering of underground beats including Joy Orbison’s 2009 smash, Hyph Mngo, and D Double E’s vocal of SX’s grime banger the Woo Riddim.

With a scent of eau de car park in the brisk wintry air we had to be warmed up. The only way was by indulging in a no holds barred rave up to the best set of the night, by Senor Breakage with Stamina MC.  He laid down an intro of deep techy beats progressing into a full on cavernous rave fest.  The highlight?  When he dropped Fake Blood’s Mars' and Stamina laced his sung vocals over the filthy bass of the now classic fidget anthem.  Amazing.

This all happened much to the appreciation of a crazy dreadlocked clubber, positioned at the back and with moves that would make the Green Goddess proud.  Now a word on these locks before I go on - they were long, almost knee length.  Now imagine them swirling in the air, slicing elegantly through the lasers in time with the bass.

There is a moment when we all feel like children at a MacDonalds Party.  Stamina MC - temporarily aka Ronald MacDonald - encouraging everyone to pose like musical statues on the 3rd beat.

What a car park, what a ridiculous amount of bass, what a soundtrack to a bank holiday.  Until next time, in the slightly altered words of musical icon Public Domain, ‘Bass in your face London.’

Words: Kerry-Ann Virgo