Exit Calm

Where: O2 Birmingham Academy 3

When: 4th November 2009

In music, as in life, hype, 99% of the time, is poison. This is mainly the fault of overzealous PR companies who drown us all in sewagey tidal waves of tendentious shite detailing how Lady Gaga (or insert any other plastic “star”) is redrawing the musical map, presumably by wearing a large lightbulb dress or taking miming godawful synth-pop to previously unheralded levels of inanity. It’s also a killer as modish, counterculture types who like to think they’re a bit clever (like me) will go out of their way to hate anything that is hyped, just to be difficult. 

As such, it is with some trepidation that I am taking a metaphorical JCB and dumping about 50000 tonnes of fresh hype all over Exit Calm, a four-piece hailing from the Yorkshirely climes of Barnsley, where the populace bathe in monster vats of gravy and order a pint of mash with a sausage stuck in it from over the bar, amongst other mythical northern things that don’t ever happen. Words in pixellated black and white don’t really do justice to their swelling, urgent sound, though I suppose the familiar touchstones will be The Verve’s Storm in Heaven as well as other shoegazey/noise acts like The Jesus & Mary Chain and My Bloody Valentine. But within all that noise they bury wonderfully atmospheric songs that grab your attention and hold it riveted. In fact, and to get a little bit flowery and literary for a moment (forgive me), I remember seeing a review of Thomas Pynchon’s novel “V”, which said that the book “…sailed with majesty through caverns measureless to man“, and for some reason this description to me seemed to fit the size and scope of Exit Calm’s sound rather aptly too. 

Of course, it always helps when producing music to have proficient people, and every part of the band excels, from a rhythm section, comprised of drummer Scott Pemberton and bassist Simon Lindley, that is as tight as the bastard lovechild of Scrooge and Shylock, to the howling hurricane of sound that comes from virtuoso guitarist Rob Marshall and the perfectly burred, soulful vocals from Nicky  Smith that gift an edge to what is actually a fairly smooth, bruised overall sound. I say soulful there, but I mean in the sense of having meaning and depth, not that Smith has a blaxploitation Afro or dons a James Brown jumpsuit to hit the stage or anything…

Live they are truly epic, and not in the sense of “epic” as used by every tracksuited wrong’un you hear tinnily blasting out Tinchy Stryder’s new tune from off their scuffed, chintzy flip-phone on the bus. Seeing this band in the flesh truly is an aural assault, but a welcome, melodic one, with lyrics that range from the esoteric to the literal. Just like trying to pick out a standout performer, choosing the best songs from their set is an almost impossible task, like nailing jelly to the ceiling or killing Mika (I’ve tried, too much sprightly, annoying pop energy and movement), but for me Forgiveness and Hearts & Minds are particularly ace, showcasing all that is good about this special band. 

In all then, I think you can pretty much tell what I think of Exit Calm by now, unless you are illiterate, or a melon. They are truly a brilliant, thrilling band, with a distinct, intense sound, and their album, when it comes out in the early part of next year, will be the perfect accompaniment to cold, misty mornings as their music swirls about your ears. It makes all the difference that this truly is a band that means it, and not just one paying lip service to their music. Exit Calm make every other band look dull, boring and obsolete, their mere presence rendering most of the competition anaemic and flatfooted at the starting gate. Believe the hype, they really are that good, and I would go as far to say that, if they continue to be this good, they will be THE band of the next few years, if not the decade. They even dislike the Kaiser Chiefs and, with this and all the above in mind, it would seem the only way this band could be any better would be if they were to hand out free diamonds and blowjobs off Cheryl Cole at all their gigs. In short, get them into your life ASAP, they are a band for the ages. 

In any case, it’s always said that you should finish on a joke, so here you go: Robbie Williams has got a new album out…AVOID.LIKE.THE.PLAGUE.

Words: Paul Madill

Pavel Janiack
Posts: 10

THEN
Reply #10 on : Mon January 24, 2011, 22:48:57

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I SEE SLAG GEMMA AND TREAT HER LIKE PUPPET!!!

Dziękuję. dobranoc!

Pavel Janiack
Posts: 10

I WILL
Reply #9 on : Mon January 24, 2011, 22:42:11

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FOOK YOU UP THEN FIST YOU.

John Boy Berry
Posts: 10

What
Reply #8 on : Mon January 24, 2011, 22:39:14

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is exit calm?

Your Girlfriend
Posts: 10

.....
Reply #7 on : Mon January 24, 2011, 22:37:46

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CAW! CAW! Polly wanna' cracker! Polly wanna pole! CAW! CAW!

Marcus De L'isle Wells
Posts: 10

Massive steaming pile
Reply #6 on : Mon January 24, 2011, 22:36:24

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OF PLOP.

James Van der beek
Posts: 10

Re: Exit Calm : O2 Birmingham Academy
Reply #5 on : Mon January 24, 2011, 22:31:38

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Is this a school project?

What a waste of time

Sebastian
Posts: 10

Pish!
Reply #4 on : Mon January 24, 2011, 22:23:15

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Trying too hard there Paul

3/10

Terry Buhelson
Posts: 10

Article
Reply #3 on : Mon January 24, 2011, 22:17:13

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How long did it take your chubby little digits to type that up?

siobhan
Posts: 10

Re: Exit Calm : O2 Birmingham Academy
Reply #2 on : Sun November 15, 2009, 23:58:45

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although i dislike the comments u make regarding lady gaga and robbie....you have pursuaded me to buy their album for misty morning swirlies...well done...xxx

Haq
Posts: 10

EC forever
Reply #1 on : Sun November 15, 2009, 02:04:25

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Great review mate! U really have found the excellence of Exit Calm. They're going to be big... at least in my mind. And that's what matters to me.

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